About Therapy

Is your life feeling off track?

Maybe it has just fallen off the rails. Or maybe it’s been off course for a while.

You are experiencing difficulty getting your life back on the right track or any track at all.

You have noticed your relationships are different – not where you want them to be.

It feels like nothing is going right at work, things at home are going from bad to worse, your marriage is in shambles.

You want better.

But you don’t know how to “get to” better. So, you move through your days with no enthusiasm and no vigor for life.

Don’t despair!

You’re here to make things work, and you have come to the right place.

No matter what has derailed your life or your marriage: infidelity, loneliness, life stressors, arguing, loss of connection, and intimacy – you CAN get back to life and marriage that feel good!

I won’t lie – it will take work!

Marriage takes work every day – every single day. But the work is doable. The rewards are huge. The payoff permeates every aspect of your life.

You might doubt your circumstances can change.

Those are valid feelings that we will discuss and process.

Sometimes, the first thought is, “It would be easier just to leave the marriage.”

However, you will encounter the same issues again with someone else, at a new job, or in a different setting.

Work for what you want before allowing yourself to accept things can’t change. And to do that, you will need the proper tools, learn different techniques, work on communication styles, listening techniques, and processing to reach your goals, and change the direction of your circumstances.

The grass is not greener on the other side – it’s greener where you water it!

It’s important to understand we’re all raised differently.

We’re all raised in different households with parent(s) raised in different households (and so on).

How we are raised, how conflict is (or isn’t) resolved, how we communicate or don’t communicate, how we show love, how we save and spend money, how we raise kids, and what we value were different in your homes.

Sure, we can have a lot in common. However, we’re essentially raised differently.

That means different schools of thought and experiences affect how you approach things. Those differences then play themselves out in your marriage.

This is important because most people cope with differences by wondering whether they’ve married the right person. A better approach is learning to understand your differences, appreciating what you each bring to the marriage, and working together to make it work as you both had envisioned.

We are all products of our family origin. It’s up to each individual to make the path work or not – do we add a new path or change our path to create a more rewarding course?

Creating a new path for your life…

No two life experiences are alike, so you’ll have to tell me what you want your new path to look like. What works for someone else’s life might not work for yours.

How do you want your life to look and feel?
What do you need more or less of?
What needs to be added or deleted?
What can and cannot be changed?
What can you live with or not?

We will explore all of this. We will find the give and take. We will work together to communicate these things, and you will acquire the necessary tools to implement change in your marriage.

Let’s get to work!

Couples and individuals will all begin by sharing some background about themselves. This helps me know who you are a little better and glimpse your relationship and family background.

We will then discuss the presenting issues and goals you strive to reach.

I’ll be active during our sessions together, and for couples, I’ll help guide you to a better way of relating to one another.

With sensitivity, I will stop communication when I see it is not working and guide you to a more workable way of communicating and feeling heard.

When there is conflict, we will look at what is not working and explore different ways of resolving it. You will see that healthy “timeouts” feel better than simply abandoning the conflict.

I will help balance your relationship in a way that allows you to feel like equal partners. This means getting you to understand each other so that you can relate to each other differently; to do that I will sometimes ask difficult questions.

It is often very difficult and painful to share things we are embarrassed by or ashamed of. Space will be created so that you can share these aspects of your life with no judgments or criticisms.

When appropriate, I will let you know whether other couples share your struggles or patterns. Sometimes knowing that “it’s not just us” can provide a little comfort.

We will work on what broke and how to build it back up: Trust, intimacy, respect, kindness, enjoyment, happiness, fulfillment, and companionship.

If you can believe it, you will laugh from time to time. When appropriate, a little laughter is good for the soul and good for connection.

We will use several time-honored techniques and tools to help you through, and I will guide you every step of the way with empathy, patience, and understanding.